Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
