I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
