Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
