haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
