Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
accomplished twins. life is a go
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
