soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
