Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
