just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
