I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like a drive thru vagina
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
