i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
