At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
