I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
