Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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