I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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