When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
