I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
