This is not my ceiling
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
