as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize