I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
