So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
