wake up i wanna do it froggy style
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
