It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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