whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
