omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're too hungover to prance.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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