Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
