and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
