watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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