I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
