his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
