i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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