Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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