Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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