But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
