What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
