Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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