Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
