super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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