we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
