I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
