no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
