I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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