apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
