where am i from again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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