Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
