I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
