hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
