So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
