FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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