He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
