i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
