are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
