You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
