My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
