your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
