I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
