I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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