i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
