woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
