didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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