I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
