no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
