My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize