I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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