Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
