I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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