we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
worst night to have a conscience
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
